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The Story of My Self Consciousness

For the past couple of years, I’ve had many problems with myself like I have Trichotillomania as I pull out my hair from my own scalp( which really hurts and makes me bald :”( ) and I’ve always hated the way my body looked as I always felt that I wasn’t skinny enough and I would wear Clothes that weren’t girly enough as back then I felt like it was hard to be a girl.

2015

2016

In 2017, I started discovering myself more as I had felt so down in myself that I decided it was time that I started dressing more and not letting my disorder get to me and not to get scared about my weight as I was getting skinny and I started understanding how gaining weight doesn’t make you fat if you control what you’re eating and how much you are eating.

I managed to get the confidence to apply for uni as I felt that I wasn’t smart enough and I was so proud that I got in to study in a subject that I wanted to do.

2017

I discovered make up and in 2018 I started wearing make up more for uni as I was growing my hair out and I was in a relationship. I admit I did regret pulling it all out again as it was fully grown back and healthy but you can’t change the way you are when you’re not getting any treatment.

I started wearing wigs as I was getting self conscious about my hair and I’ve always felt like this about my hair and I was scared that I would lose all my friends and boyfriend.

2018
2018
2018

2018

Now it’s 2019 and I still have worries about my hair that I went through with shaving it as I had still pulled it out. It did grow out again and yet again, I pulled it out. It’s nearly September and I haven’t got a job or I haven’t applied for uni as I’ve finished my course and now I have to look at getting a job or doing something else which I haven’t had a clue about what I wanted to do as I’ve been focusing on my hair and my health as I have bad anxiety and depression which effects me a lot and makes me feel upset with myself that I feel not capable of doing things.

I still wear wigs occasionally when I’m feeling down and nervous. As well as I wear hats in public.

2019
2019
2019
2019
2019
2019
2019

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